Thanksgiving 2009

Below is a slideshow of photos from Thanksgiving.  Enjoy.

Invoice, Please

at my temp job I get a lot of phone calls. I got a call today from this company. We had sent them a statement for some things one of their employees had ordered. They won't pay a statement, they want an invoice.

So I asked what information was missing from the invoice. Nothing. The only difference is the word "Invoice" isn't on there.

So they're not going to pay because it's not in the format and wording they prefer.

I'm going to try that with my cell phone bill. I'm going to call them up and say "yeah, I can't pay this bill because it doesn't say "please" on it anywhere. No, the information is correct, it's all right there -- I just can't pay this unless it has the word "please" on it."

Think that would go over well?

Just another way in which the rules are different for business than they are for regular people.

I'd Probably Disown Him

Carrie Prejean's brother, Billy Arnone, was interviewed for the magazine "Radar" about her sex tape. He said "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it."

How sick and sad that is, he expects people to just give him porn just because his sister's in it? Look at mister special, I get free porn when my sister is in it.  Straight people are gross sometimes.

He said in the same interview, regarding marriage equality "I'm all the way against gay marriage. I don't feel that it's right that a man and a man should raise a kid. That's just how I was raised and how Carrie was raised."

How they were raised? Was this a subject that came up a lot when they were kids?

"Carrie, Billy, you kids head upstairs now, it's almost time for bed. Brush your teeth and no gay marriage."

"But MOM!"

"You heard me!  You both have school in the morning!  Marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman.  Don't forget to floss."

hat tip: JoeMyGod

Programing Note: Homo Rantus

Hello beautiful Internet people!

For awhile now I've noticed a bit of a schizophrenic nature to my blog.  On one hand I write stuff about my life, and funny things, and then I go on rants of a more socio-political nature.  I wrestled with this idea for awhile, and have decided to create a new blog, "Homo Rantus".  This new blog, Homo Rantus, will be the home to all my more socio-political rants, raves, and activist bidness.

I will continue to publish Just A Jason Blog, and continue the feed to my site JustAJason.com, but the Just A Jason stuff will be the more humorous, and more personal life type stuff.

A Most Important Issue

I have to come clean about something.

I don't like cake.

Yep, when looking back on my life of eating desserts, cake is just not at the top of the list.  Unless it's of the cheesecake or ice-cream cake variety -- but come on now, those both are more like pie than cake. Carrot cake, when made properly is an exception, too.

And some may point out that I do enjoy the cakes made by the awesome CJ.  But let us also be real about this.  CJ doesn't make cakes, no no, those are not mere cakes.  CJ conjures up tasty bits of heaven and has to be lacing them with crack - because they are insanely delicious.  I have no doubt in centuries past; wars would've been started over merely mentioning CJ had been anywhere near a mixing bowl.

No, I am referring to the boring, bland cake we all have on our birthdays, holidays, and other events. Chocolate cake barely has any chocolate in it, and that white cake is just...nothing. People try to assure me "no, real, moist, cake is delicious" No it is not, it is wet bread that's been dressed up nice for company.

The purpose of cake is to give us a legitimate reason to eat frosting.  That's all.  Why can't we just admit that?    Think about it for just a second.  Would you bother with cake that didn't have frosting on it?  Or at the very least some fruit?  There's a reason why we sprinkle and drizzle it with things that actually taste good, or drop a scoop of ice cream or whipped cream on it.  Hell it's so boring as is that we draw pictures on it and light it on fire just so we can blow it out. If we were cats, we'd have it rigged to shake around like it's alive so it'd be interesting enough to attack.

Cake sucks.

Coming To A Store Near You....

Do you ever have a dream where you come up with the secret of the universe, or you figure out some difficult situation, or a math problem, or come up with the funniest joke ever?  I do.  The other morning I had just such a dream, or so I thought.

I had this dream, one of those ones I barely remember now but as I was waking up was so damn hilarious.  I had come up with a new chocolate milk product, and had come up with a commercial for it already.  The announcer is saying something like this.

"Do you like Chocolate Milk?  Do you like icelandic singing sensation Björk?  Well now you can have the best of both worlds with new Björk-late Milk!"

Yes, somehow in my head, that was hilarious.  Hold your sides hilarious.  I shit you not.

And this was a follow up joke to go with it.

"Double your fun, make some Björk-late Milk. Then, pour a bunch in your mouth and try to yodel with your mouth closed!  You'll sound just like Björk!"

I woke up convinced this was comedy gold.  I could not wait to tell my partner. He had already left for work, so I had to wait until later.  I got dressed for the gym and headed off to start my day thinking this was the funniest thing anyone ever came up with.

But as the day wore on I realized that this was not funny at all. I don't know what was happening in my dream.  Perhaps I was smoking dream-world pot, cause that is possibly the most bizarrely unfunny joke I have ever come up with. I like Björk, she doesn't sound like someone yodeling with a mouthful of flavored milk.  She's no Ella Fitzgerald, but she's not that.  What on earth would a Björk-flavored drink taste like?  Cinnamon?  Cheese? Aluminum?

This makes me wonder what kind of dream I was having where this was the highlight.

Dreams are weird.

Tis The Season To Be Whiney

Here we go again.

I get AFA action alerts. The AFA is a Christian domination group called "The American Family Association". Don't be fooled by the word "family" though, as they don't care about your family, unless it's exactly the right kind of family. They spend a great deal of time trying to fight "the homosexual agenda" You know, peace, understanding, equality, and being left alone----to them this is just plain evil.
Every holiday season they get low on cash take time out of bearing false witness against me and mine to attack retailers for not giving Christianity, and Christmas itself, top billing.

Witness this excerpt from their latest action alert:

Last year, Gap issued this politically-correct statement to Christmas shoppers: "Gap recognizes that many traditions are celebrated throughout this season and we feel it is important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone."

Christmas is special because of Jesus. It's not just a "winter holiday." For millions of Americans the giving and receiving of gifts is in honor of the One who gave Himself. For the Gap to pretend that isn't the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst.

Did you see that?

Gap says "we feel it's important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone" and the first thing the AFA says is "Christmas is special because of Jesus". Did the GAP say anything about Christmas? No. They said that "many traditions are celebrated throughout this season". Which is a fact. Hanukkah anyone? Kwanzaa? Diwali? Saturnalia? Samahain? Imbolc? Dong Zhi? Modranect? Navratri? Eid ul-Adha? Sadeh? Boxing Day?

Jesus is not the only reason for the season. Just because you don't celebrate these holidays doesn't mean there aren't any Americans who do. There's nothing politically correct about appealing to a wider range of shoppers, and certainly nothing insulting about not getting a name drop from a retailer for your pet holiday.

I mean what's wrong with including everyone? I'll tell you what's wrong. Privilege. Dominance. Favoritism. The only people who fear equality, diversity, and inclusivity are those in power. Equality takes away their special privileges, the ones they didn't earn and don't deserve. This is an attack not on Christianity, but on Christian control of our culture. Those in power never give it up without a fight. They want the GAP and every other retailer to put up signs reminding the lowlifes, the undesirables, the heretics, atheists, people of other faiths, and everyone else that this is "Christianity's Turf". That this land belongs to the church. Not just any Church, The Christian Church. If people aren't inundated with Christianity, they might wander off! They might not convert! Those uppity Atheists might actually have the nerve to come out of the closet! People might steal back the holiday we stole from the Pagans in the first place!!!

When you think about it, the only remarkable thing about white, straight, Christian people is the power they wield. Otherwise, they're kinda boring, at least the insecure ones are. Whether they admit it or not, having that power gives them a sense of order, a sense of purpose. Equality threatens their power. If they are the same as others, then they are no longer special, no longer in control, no longer able to look at a black man, or a lesbian, or a Hindu and say to themselves "well, at least I'm better than them." Christian friends and allies, please note that I used the word "insecure" above. So, if you support equality and are not insecure -- then I'm not talking about you, because an emotionally secure Christian white person who supports equality is rather unique and rare, sad to say.

So yet another Holiday season will be spent as a fundraiser for ailing bigots to fabricate a war on Christmas.  The sad part is, all that time and effort could be used to comfort the sick, feed the hungry, and shelter the poor -- you know, the things Jesus specifically told Christians to do.


Merry Christmas!